"Malapuyut" is a word in HILIGAYNON
malapúyut - (H) Thick, thickened,
condensed, stiff, viscous, viscid,
inspissated, treacly (of liquids); severe,
heavy, vehement, violent (of fighting, or the
like). (cf. lapúyut, malásaw; sugúng,
masángsang).
It wasn't always like this. There was a time when I imagined my life could happen in another way. It's true that early on I became used to the long hours I spent alone. I discovered that I did not need people as others did. After writing all day it took an effort to make conversation, like wading through cement, and often I simply chose not to make it, eating at a restaurant with a book or going for long walks alone instead, unwinding the solitude of the day through the city. But loneliness, true loneliness, is impossible to accustom oneself to, and while I was still young I thought of my situation as somehow temporary, and did not stop hoping and imagining that I would meet someone and fall in love... Yes, there was a time before I closed myself off to others.
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